Relationships that incorporate frequent appreciation and recognition tend to be happier, healthier and closer.
Do you show as much recognition and appreciation as you could of all the things, big and small, your partner does for you and your family unit? Do you continue to let them know what a positive difference they make to your life and your mental state?
By eliminating complacency and reintroducing the simple relationship habits we used to implement naturally at the start of our relationship, we can get our spouse/partner to engage more within the relationship. After all, we know from behavioural psychology that reinforcing good behaviour means the person is more likely to repeat it. By recognising and showing appreciation for something someone has done, or regularly does, they are naturally inclined to continue this behaviour.
Even in the business world, research into business relationships shows similar outcomes because we are, after all, human beings. In the 2008 “Global Recognition Study” the research conducted by the firm Towers Perrin for the O.C. Tanner company interviewed 10,333 people from different organisations in 13 different countries and found that increased appreciation led to a significant increase in engagement which they identify as the amount of a person’s “effort, energy, and imagination” they’re getting.
How much of your spouse’s (partner’s) effort, energy, and imagination are you currently getting? Is it in direct correlation with the amount of appreciation and recognition you’re currently giving?
If you have stopped showing your spouse or partner appreciation and recognition, is it because you don’t care about the relationship being successful anymore or is it because you have lost touch with the simple daily actions that shape the happiness of your relationship long-term?
If you need to reignite the passion, or even the actual love, in your relationship, begin a daily diet of appreciation and recognition. It will make you both feel good and you’ll both reap relationship rewards. Do this consistently and persistently for at least four weeks and see where your relationship is after the four weeks compared with where it was before you started.
DAILY RELATIONSHIP APPRECIATION AND RECOGNITION DIET
Every morning, before you part company for individual commitments, tell your spouse or partner something you appreciate about them. This will start their day well, as well as yours.
When you come together again in the evening, verbally recognise something else you appreciate about your partner.
At bedtime, show your partner verbal appreciation for something else.
Adding non-verbal recognition to your verbal one, like a touch, hug or kiss, also helps reinforce the message of appreciation.
Remember, the appreciation can be about them as a person, how they make you feel, how they help you, or about something they have done or something they regularly do. If it makes a positive difference to your mental well-being, your life experiences, and/or your relationship, tell them.
Over time, not only will your partner be more inclined to repeat such behaviours or retain such traits, they will also associate you and the relationship with that wonderful, warm, fuzzy feeling they get inside when you recognise the things (big and small) that they contribute to your life together.
Symptoms of Breast Cancer
Initially, breast cancer may not result in any symptoms. A lump may be too small for you to feel manually or cause any unusual changes. Often, an abnormal area turns up on a mam-mogram, which then leads to further testing.
There are symptoms that could be suspicious:
A physical change in the breast, such as a lump, a thickening or a change in its size or shape.
Changes in the nipple such as retraction (pulling in of the nipple) or fluid that comes out on its own without squeezing.
An inflammatory change, such as redness or hardening of the breast.
A lump in the underarm lymph nodes.
You should see a doctor right away if any of the previous sign occur
Increased breast cancer risk if:
The risk increases with age: About 80 per cent of all breast cancers are found in women over the age of 50.
Factors that slightly increase your risk of developing breast cancer:
Previous Breast Cancer
Early Menstruation or Late Menopause
First Pregnancy after the age of 30 or never having had children
Benign Breast Disease
Hormone Replacement Therapy
Oral Birth Control
Being Overweight or Obese
Exposure to Radiation
Family History or BRCA Mutations
It is always possible that even though your breast feels normal, a screening test will show an abnormality. These tests are designed to find hidden diseases.
If any of these apply to you, discuss your situation with your doctor.
Reduce your risk of Breast Cancer - early detection saves lives
Our doctors recommend the following breast cancer screening guidelines
A monthly breast self-examination (BSE) beginning at age 20.
If you are at average risk:
• Annual clinical breast examination (CBE) beginning at age 25
• Annual mammography beginning at age 40
If you have a family history of breast cancer:
• CBE every three to six months starting at the same time as the earliest diagnosis in your family.
• Annual mammography starting no later than ten years before the age of the earliest diagnosis in the family (but not earlier than age 25 and not later than age 40).
• Consider annual MRI and mammography at alternating six-month intervals
Screening mammography remains important for the early detection of breast cancer and women aged 50-74 should participate in regular screening every two years.
A Breast Cancer Surveillance Plan Customized for You
If we find that you’re at increased risk for breast cancer, we’ll develop a long-term plan cus-tomized specifically for you. Depending on your risk factors, the plan may include:
• Screening you for breast cancer at intervals that make sense for your level of risk.
• Depending on your situation, we can use ultrasound, digital mammography, contrast enhanced mammography, and breast MRI, if it’s determined that these might be valuable in identifying very early tumors in your breasts.
• Educating you on how to check your breasts properly for changes (self-examination).
• Discussing with you the role of chemoprevention, or medications available to help reduce the risk of developing breast cancer.
• Advising you on other risk factors for breast cancer, such as lifestyle choices involving things like diet and exercise.
Breast cancer survival rates have increased, and the number of deaths steadily has been de-clining, which is largely due to earlier detection.
Many times breast cancers are discovered through routine screening of peo-ple who have no symptoms or outward evidence of disease
Breast Cancer, and how HC Oncology can help.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer or learning you’re at high risk for it can be life changing. In a flash, you’re faced with questions, concerns - and the unknown. That’s where we come in. We give you answers that can relieve your fears and help you make the right plan. Our specialists assess your condition and treat you with the best tools available. Why do we do all this? Simple. We want what you want: the best possible result.
HC Marbella International Hospital
Ventura del Mar, 11
952 908 628
This month Jonathan tackles the sensitive subject of mental illness and how hairdressers can use their professional skills to help others. In other news, he welcomes two 'newbies' to the team!
It´s good to talk
If I was going to do anything else apart from be a hair stylist I would be a psychologist. If you think about it, I have probably put in more man hours listening to my clients' problems than any psychologist out there. As it is something that I am very passionate about, when I read about The Lions Barber Collective, an international collection of top barbers who have come together to help raise awareness for the prevention of suicide, it really touched home. Its objective is to offer hope to customers who may feel down, yet have nobody else they feel they can open up to. This made me sit down and think about the unique position we hairdressers are in and how we can use this to help others. As hairdressers we obviously spend a lot of time talking to our clients, we keep their confidences and they trust us, therefore our profession allows for a unique connection with clients.
But why do people feel they can open up to their hairdresser? I believe it is because we are let into their personal space as we have to touch their hair. I think touch is the key here, as it opens a connection. Also, a client knows that they have my undivided attention while I am with them (sometimes they may have Nader's as well, but don’t get me started on that again!) With the music and hairdryers on no one can hear what you’re saying except me and maybe Nader, but that’s because he can hear a bloody dog's whistle. It is the perfect place to talk about your troubles. My clients have shared everything with me. If you think of what your deepest, darkest most sordid secret is, believe me, I have heard it before.
In my experience, clients will often open up to their hairdresser when they have no one else to turn to – or when they don’t feel they can talk to family or friends.
Sometimes opening up to a stranger is easier than sharing your problems with friends and family. It´s a fresh pair of ears, someone who is not directly involved and is objective, whereas loved ones may be quick to judge or might prefer simply to tell you what you want to hear.
Men are particularity hard work. They are not natural talkers and see emotions as the enemy. As suicide is now the biggest killer of men under 45, men need to forget about manning up and open up about depression instead.
The Lions Barber Collective theory is based on giving men an opportunity to talk and share feelings, which could potentially help to lead them away from suicidal thoughts. Utilising the very special bond between a trusted, friendly hairstylist we can create a safe spaces for men to talk about anything they want to. This has to be a good thing, right?
Can a hairdresser really help?
People immediately feel better when they get their problems off their chest, so the hairdresser may not actually be able to do or change anything but just listening has made a difference for that client.
If the client is unsure about opening up to their stylist, just think about the following; it is very likely that, whatever problem you are facing, your hairstylist will have either experienced the same thing themselves or will know of someone who has, so they can offer advice from that. Never think you are on your own as there is always someone who can relate to you.
I would actually like to see training being offered to hairdressers on how to spot early signs of depression. We are in the unique position of being able to make a big difference - as long as we are aware of the signs that someone may need help.
Look after yourself
It can be very humbling, hearing tragic stories, yet it can also be emotionally draining, so anyone who works in this industry needs to protect themselves and be careful not to take work home with them. A friend once told me to imagine myself covered in light before walking into the salon every day and when I come home the first thing I do is take a shower to cleanse my body and mind.
We've been blessed
Having done a bit of Cosmic Ordering I am pleased to announce the arrival of Nick from LARNDAAN Town. He is like a breath of fresh air, enthusiastic, s**t hot with a pair of scissors and amazing at a Scouse blow-dry. What is also refreshing is, instead of starring at Gerry's miserable face or trying to avoid Nader's prying ears, we now have some serious eye candy in the salon.
And she's back
I just want to welcome the boomerang back, our lovely Tori, who has has been on a sabbatical but has now returned to the people who love her. Honestly, I have missed seeing her smile every morning, not to mention her skills as a therapist. Her massages are legendary and once our clients experiences a massage with Tori, it’s guaranteed they will be booking another.
If your feet have taken on an avian look from the heat and flip-flop wearing and now resemble falcon's talons more than human nails, Tori will whip them into shape in no time at all. Yes, her pedis are really that good! What we love about Tori is she is totally unassuming, has no hidden agenda, what you see is what you get and we could do with a few more like her round here.
Whether you want a whole new hair look or just a subtle update, get a head start as Jonathan takes us though this season's hair trends. From ultra-voluminous hair and finger waves to dark moody hues and creamy blonde tresses.
Raise the volume
History repeats itself throughout life, it always has done and this season's hair trends reflect just that. Autumn/Winter 2016 is officially the season of the curl; throw in texture and volume and we have been taken back to the 1980s (not that I ever really left). I don’t think we are in the zone of scrunched nightclub glam but - be warned - we are not too far from it. Hair at Vivienne Westwood was voluminous and wavy, Diane Von Furstenberg featured disco waves and Alexander Wang channelled 80s rock. To achieve a similar result to Wang, emphasize the natural hair by letting it air dry, then spray hair once dry with Redken Wax Blast 10 €16,88.
Isabel Marant brought back the perm, much to my delight. You see the big curly blow dry that everyone is currently requesting would last much longer with a perm as a base; I like to call it ‘style support’. Yes, I know - when wet you tend to look more like a King Charles Spaniel, but when blow dried out and smoothed you will get the look that you are after and it will last.
Come to think of it I would like to request a meeting with all the big colour houses so we can discuss inventing some kind of technology which would allow me to perm EVERYONE'S hair without them looking like the back end of a tram smash. As I have spent the last 20 years bleaching the hell out of my clients' hair, the damage that perming would cause is just not worth the result. I need a perm solution which gives the results I am after but doesn’t damage the hair. Is that too much to ask? I often think when I see all these girls wandering around with curlers in their hair, in the words of my mother, “if you added a bit of a perm in that love, it’s going to last a lot longer”.
Riding the wave
Finger waves popped up in all four fashion cities and in varying guises - from lacquered curls to gently undulating fringes. At Stella McCartney the waves were soft and gentle, Blumarine opted for a deep side part, lots of gel and a comb shaped S formation. At Marc Jacobs the finger waves were super defined and glossy. They had a distinct gothic-meets-1920s flapper feel. What was sleek and centre-parted on top was modernised by leaving the length of the hair loose so you’re left with these two very different, very sculptural textures. If you want to try this at home, good luck! Start with Redken Hardwear Gel to create the waves and Redken Forceful 23 €14,25 hairspray to set them.
Shiny and smooth long hair was straightened to the extreme on the catwalks this season, an ethereal allure created using super-realistic extensions that is set to be a sure fire hit. Please do not try this look if you only have about three inches of hair, as no amount of clever hairdressing is going to hide that telltale line. Make sure you invest in the best hair extensions out there or you will end up looking like you have knitting wool in your hair. imagesEllie Saab H and m aalto
Such a Wannabe
I have spotted hints of the 1990s popping up here and there, such as Spice Girl double buns, which make you look like you’re an extra in Star Wars and basically a silly bugger. Oh and crimped locks of hair are back on the scene. If the 90s are coming back I am NOT doing bloody tiger stripes again.
To dye for
What's a change of season without a hair colour refresh to usher it in? After a few years of cool blonde shades popping up all over, warm blondes are making a comeback. Think more buttery and sandy blondes, less icy blondes. I am also loving rose gold hair, a pretty shade of pink-tinted blonde that's being worn by celebs like Emma Roberts. It's so radiant, it lights up your whole look - even if you're not wearing any make-up!
Deep brown with hints of red was seen on Kim K and we all know what happens with the Kardashian effect. I have been doing this look for years and it’s actually one of my favourite colour combos. If you want to ease yourself into this trend, think fine clarity red woven through dark brown. Don’t go too mad and let the red take over though as you start to resemble Kat Slater from EastEnders.
Cinnamon strands are having a moment. They are a fabulous way of toning down over sun-beached tresses as currently being sported by most of the Costa del Sol who frequent the likes of Nikki Beach and Ocean Scrub. Sorry, but it needs to be said.
A big, fat NO
None of my clients will be getting the following from me. Beige-blonde! The only thing that should be beige-blonde is walls. Bronde – I am soooo over it. It’s been a laugh but now it’s time to just pick a side and stick to it. Oh, and when is this trend of light hair with dark roots going to crawl back under the rock it come from? It's just lazy. I am sorry but it will only make you look like a day walker at best, crack whore at worst. However, if you are going to go through with this diabolical look make sure that you keep your make-up light and fresh. If you start going for dark colours you will look even more like a corpse. Image Kirsten stewart
The combination of complementary and traditional western medicine is increasingly used in health care sectors across the world and is known as Integrative Medicine. In Integrative Oncology, mainstream treatment, including surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, is used in conjunction with complementary therapies to treat side effects brought on by these treatments and to treat the overall well-being of oncology patients. The Integrative Oncology Department at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Centre in New York states:
“Integrative oncology combines the best of mainstream care and complementary therapies to control physical and emotional symptoms, to improve quality of life and to speed recovery.”
Acupuncture is a form of complementary medicine frequently used in conjunction with mainstream medicine for cancer care. Its role includes:
- Supportive Treatment
- Symptom Management
- Preventive Care
Acupuncture can be used in all phases of cancer treatment.
For the pre-surgical patient, acupuncture promotes relaxation, prevents side effects and alleviates symptoms. The optimum time for treatment is two days before surgery.
Post surgery, acupuncture helps with pain control, decreases swelling, helps to prevent scar tissue contraction and shortens the recovery time.
Radiation and Chemotherapy are standard treatments in cancer care as they are very effective in the destruction of cancer cells. Unfortunately, these treatments also destroy fast reproducing healthy cells in the skin, bone marrow, intestines, hair follicles and the reproductive system. Acupuncture may improve immune function and increase the effectiveness of chemotherapy. Acupuncture should be given the day before Chemotherapy or Radiation treatment. The following side effects of radiation and chemotherapy can be alleviated with acupuncture:
- Low White Blood Cell Count
- Nausea & Vomiting
- Sensitivity to Cold
- Shortness of Breath
- Loss of Appetite
- Hepatic Dysfunction
For patients who are having a Bone Marrow Transplant while undergoing Chemotherapy, Acupuncture helps the immune system to prepare for the transplant and relaxes the patient before the procedure.
How does Acupuncture work? Specific point combinations have been shown to increase antibodies, T-cell count, haemoglobin and red blood cells, white blood count (especially neutrophils), normalize irregular heartbeat, regulate blood pressure, improve peristalsis of the oesophagus and the intestines, regulate stomach acid secretion and help to stabilize peripheral nerve damage. Acupuncture modulates the sensory pain centre in the brain by producing an analgesic effect. Acupuncture helps release neurotransmitters including Serotonin, Norepinephrine and Dopamine.
Learn more about the Acupuncture and ONCOLOGY by calling 952 908 898 or visit www.hcmarbella.com
Cirumed leads the way in the ‘lighter’ implant revolution
Over recent years, Cirumed has become one of Marbella’s most successful brands, not only within Spain, but also far beyond. Cirumed’s surgeons fly to countries across the globe to give lectures at international conferences. Director, Dr. Alexander Aslani, who is also formal Head of the Plastic Surgery
Departments of Hospital Quiron Málaga and Quiron Marbella, is frequently invited to perform demo-surgeries for other surgeons, mostly because of Cirumed’s expertise in advanced body contouring procedures for breast and buttocks.
The Cirumed Clinic has established a healthy reputation for pairing an unmatched surgical track record during a decade of experience together with a constant striving for innovation. In light of this, Cirumed has now become
one of only two centres in Spain which is able to offer B-Lite lightweight breast implants. B-Lite implants are based on high-quality German cohesive gel technology, which has been used in conventional breast implants. However, B-Lite implants are around 30 per cent lighter. “The effect on our breast surgery practice is dramatic,” says Dr. Alexander Aslani, who founded Cirumed back in 2006.
“At present, the weight of breast implants is the most significant factor determining the longevity of breast surgery results. The heavier the implants, the more weight stress on the breast; heavy breast implants cause tissue to stretch, thinning of breast tissue and sagginess. Withstanding 30 per cent less weight is a distinct advantage.”
The impact may best be appreciated using the following calculation: An average conventional breast implant may be around 300cc and weighs 300grams. The volume and weight percentages are usually identical. A B-Lite breast implant with the same 300cc volume only weighs 200 grams, which is 100 grams less.
Say you take 3,000 steps a day – the weight stress on your breast is reduced by 30kg every single day.
“This will totally change the face of breast surgery for all our patients, especially those who are prone to saggy breasts, exercise a lot or need to change old, heavy implants,” says Dr. Aslani. “Since they are based on a very established German technology, their safety has been approved and there is very little difference in
surgical technique.” The introduction of B-Lite implants at Cirumed firmly sets the clinic apart from others in the field and marks them as a main contributor to Marbella’s image as the place for breast surgery.