At rauma can happen to most people during their lives, dealing with the death of a loved one or coping with a serious illness in a family for example, and the aftermath can be extremely difficult to cope with. However childhood trauma can have an even more profound impact and can influence our character, behaviour and the way we perceive ourselves throughout our lives. It can cause us to be abusive to ourselves or to others. Dealing with the fallout can be difficult, but recovery is possible.
Low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, addictions and other mental health conditions, such as eating or personality disorders, can be caused or exacerbated by what we experience in our childhood.
Take Michael for example; he bullies other children at his school, calling them names and physically hurting them; he is disruptive in class and disrespectful to his teachers. Or little Sarah who seems nervous, isolates herself and is often in tears at the most insignificant thing. Both Michael and Sarah may be reacting to trauma experienced at the hands of parents, relatives or other caregivers from birth and / or throughout their childhood years. Sometimes it’s much harder to spot.
This type of abuse could be physical, mental or the result of exposure to aggression or addiction at home. The way we are treated as children influences the way our brain develops and creates a long lasting ‘blueprint’ that can shape the way we live our lives. This can manifest itself by unconsciously repeating the patterns of childhood trauma in the form of abusing others or ourselves, forming unhealthy addictions, or living with unmanageable emotions.
Psychiatrists and psychologists often refer to the impact of childhood trauma as ‘dysregulation’. In short this means we can find it hard to regulate our thoughts, feelings and behaviour because of what happened to us as children. In our early years our brains are delicate so if a parent or caregiver abuses us and inflicts stress, our brains develop differently to those who grow up in more stable and loving environments.
Trauma in our early years will alert the brain to scan for threats and respond to them instinctively. Continuous activation of these responses can create a permanent susceptibility to perceive the world as a hostile place in which we have to protect ourselves. For some there may be a genetic vulnerability that is aggravated by trauma; for others this is not the case. Regardless of this we are born with an instinctive predisposition to form a strong bond with our mother. If she fails us in any way it can affect the health of our connection to her, or others as we grow.
The brain however, does have the ability to recover from childhood trauma and we can stop the cycle of abuse. A transformation can occur by which we make the transition from feeling neglected to feeling secure, from feeling unloved to feeling cherished. Psychotherapy is an effective way of helping people to make the changes in their lives that can restore their ability to stop destructive patterns and enhance a state of well-being.
Therapists will encourage clients, in a healthy and manageable way, to talk about themselves, their feelings, behaviours and life experiences. This helps the therapist to establish trust with the client. Through this the client can start to experience a more accurate sense of self-awareness and an understanding of how childhood traumas have impacted their lives within a safe environment. Through this process of realisation, the client can begin to understand why they may endure or inflict abusive behaviours on themselves, others, or indeed both. It then becomes possible, with the ongoing support of the therapist, to influence their brains to think and act in a more positive way, using coping strategies, better communication skills and thought processing.
Mental illnesses, addictions, eating and anxiety disorders are problems that are surmountable when we can get the right help from highly trained therapists and doctors. The impact of this treatment can be far reaching, improving our relationships with partners, children and loved ones and, most importantly, ourselves.
If your feelings and behaviour have become unmanageable and damaging, or if you know someone who in this position, help is at hand and recovery is possible. Moving from an emotionally dark place into one of light takes courage, effort and time, but the improvement in the quality of our lives and those of the people around us is more than worth the effort.
Cortijo Care specialises in Trauma Resolution Therapies including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming). Call us now for a confidential chat or to book an appointment on 952 780 181.
C/ Joaquin Turina, Cortijo Blanco, San Pedro de Alcantara, Marbella.
“I would rather go naked than wear high street”
We’ve all seen the press – the high street mascara that exceeds the results of even the priciest department store brand. The face cream that costs less than half its luxury rival, yet has a waiting list. So do we really need to pay out for designer beauty products? The truth is that there are good and bad products in all price categories. Here are our tips on where to splurge and where to save on makeup.
Skincare products such as foundation, concealers and primers are where you should invest your money. The more expensive products may have certain ingredients in them, such as sunscreen, vitamins and added antioxidants, all of which raise the price of makeup. Luxury brand foundation lines are formulated with finely milled ingredients, and this results in a smoother, more even application on your skin. You’ll use less product because high-end foundations generally offer more coverage than their less expensive counterparts. We recommend Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua Ultra-Light Skin Perfecting Makeup and Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk.
Mascara has the shortest lifespan - only two to three months. Much of its quality degrades due to frequent exposure to air, which causes its formula to dry and crust. As much as we love YSL Faux Effect, when it starts to clump after three weeks it is literally money down the drain. Cheapie mascaras that work and won’t put as big a dent in your wallet are Loreal Voluminous Mascara, Maybelline Falsies Mascara and Rimmel London Volume Flash Bold Curves Mascara.
The fine art of a luxury powder lies in the degree to which it’s been pulverized. The finest will allow you to layer and layer without ever looking like a clown. High street blushers tend to be too powdery with little pigment. They are filled with a lot of talc, meaning you have to use a lot of product to get the desired effect. Invest in Dior Rosy Glow Awakening Blush.
While pigmentation plays a big part in choosing whether to opt for designer or drugstore cosmetics, makeup’s spoiling cycle should do too. Eye shadows are recommended for a maximum lifespan of only three months. Drugstores have really stepped up their game when it comes to eye shadows by improving their colour payoff and pigmentation. Sleek palettes should go straight onto your must-have list, Bourjois shadows are very pigmented and Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo stay on forever and blend beautifully.
Save and spend. Go cheap for trendy colours that will only be hot this season. If you like to wear one classic shade all the time, you might want to spend more for a richer lipstick that will last longer without drying out your lips. High street hotties are L’Oréal Paris Colour Juice Sheer Juicy Lip Gloss, Revlon Super Lustrous Crème Lipstick and Avon Ultra Colour Rich Mega Impact Lipstick. Oh, and don’t overlook good old Vaseline. This multi-tasking product acts as a lip balm or gloss and can also be used to create wet look shadow or a highlighter sheen.
Investing in good quality makeup brushes and tools will not only help to give you a flawless makeup look, but you’ll actually save money in the long run. You can extend the use of your foundation by applying it with a pro foundation brush - it will create an airbrushed look, and you’ll use less product than if you used your fingers. Tom Ford Smoky Eye Brush, Giorgio Armani Blender Brush and Chanel Concealer Brush #10 are a few of our favourites.
Hollywood starlet Jennifer Lopez is best known for her signature bronzed “lit from within” look. Nicola McGeorge shows you how to recreate this red carpet look.
Apply Oskia Get Up & Glow, a serum which doubles as an illuminator, leaving skin looking revitalized, healthier and smoother with a youthful, radiant glow. Perfect for this dewy bronzed look.
Using a foundation brush, layer on Smashbox Photo Finish Hydrating Foundation Primer, which creates a perfect canvas for foundation application. Next, move onto the brows and fill in gaps with the MAC Brow Pencil then add definition with HiBrow shadow using a slanted brow brush.
Dab Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion all over the lids to keep everything in place. Next, using a cream shadow, brush pat Chanel Illusion D’Ombre in Initiation all over the lid to just above the crease. Buff this out and then, using the same brush, apply Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow in Beach Bronze over the lid. The shimmer from the Chanel shadow will still shine through. Work Chanel Illusion D’Ombre in Fatal into the crease and the outer corner of the eye, winging it out slightly. Finally apply a tiny amount of MAC Pigment ‘Vanilla’ in the inner corner of the eye to brighten the area and pull the eyes apart, also highlight under the brow bone with the same shade; blend, blend, blend.
Line the lower rim with Dior Crayon Eyeliner Waterproof in Intense Brown. Really work this into the lower lashes with a smudger brush. Just under this line apply Urban Decay Snakebite shadow to build up the golden effect. With a flat liner brush apply MAC Pigment ‘Vanilla’ to the inner rim.
Curl lashes with the Shu Uemura eyelash curler, holding down for 30 seconds and apply Christian Dior DiorShow Blackout Waterproof Mascara. Use Sephora Targeted Eye Remover Swabs to remove any shadow, which might have dropped onto the under-eye area, leaving it ready for concealing.
With a Beauty Blender Sponge apply Chanel Vitalumiere, a creamy and luxuriously lightweight foundation, which blends effortlessly for perfectly smooth, even-toned, radiant skin. Next conceal any remaining imperfections with Chanel Correcteur Perfection. To diminish under-eye shadows work Clinique Airbrush Concealer onto any dark areas, then set with MUFE HD powder.
Using a slanted face brush, work MAC Trace Gold, a sheer shimmer tone blush under the cheekbones. Next, using a sponge, dab Benefit Moonbeam, a golden highlighter, on the places that would naturally catch the light; top of the cheek bones, bridge of the nose, cupid’s bow. Finish this with a dusting of MUFE HD Powder along the t-zone.
Line lips, define and accentuate with MAC Spice, then fill lips in with Kiko Lip Pencil 08. Spray MAC Fix+ to set makeup and add radiance.
Apply NUXE Huile Prodigieuse, a shimmery, multi-usage golden dry oil over arms and décolleté to make body glisten.
How did you get into the world of aesthetic practice?
I have always been fascinated by beauty and medicine, then one day I decided to combine my two loves and began working in aesthetic medicine.
How would you describe your work in one sentence?
I give people back their youth.
What made you passionate about working with the face and skin?
It would have to be the immediate results achieved from the treatments I use and the customer satisfaction. You cannot beat that feeling when you see a client’s face light up when they see the final results.
Tell us about your latest treatments?
We only work with the most innovative treatments, which offer a faster and more natural recovery and restoration. Ozone therapy is the latest addition that we can offer to our clients to improve the quality of their skin. Ozone therapy is used in Aesthetic Medicine, due to the gas’s incredible properties that induce cellular and antioxidant activation, act as a powerful germicide and an agent capable of reactivating the production of collagen/elastin and as an inductor of lipolysis. The ozone is a unique agent in
the saving and restoration of the natural beauty and health of your skin. These skin treatments do not hide flaws, but restore the natural functions and stimulate the normal skin processes. They are based on essential elements only: water and oxygen/ozone.
What do you consider to be your areas of expertise?
Aesthetic medicine and especially rejuvenation of the face and skin.
Tell us about the clinic?
Titanium Clinic Marbella is part of the Titanium Group, which is established in Spain and Santo Domingo, with clinics in Madrid, Santo Domingo, Granada, Nerja, León, Ejido, Motril and Marbella. The Marbella Clinic is a leader in the group and is known for having the latest technology and the highest standards of treatments in the fields of dental, aesthetic medicine, age management, pain management and other areas. It is also important to note that the team of doctors, surgeons, dentists, anaesthetists and nurses all belong to The Trinon Collegium Practicum, an organization which has an international focus and works with established partner organizations to provide a high standard of care to patients and education to doctors. We have several research groups working with the USA, Singapore and Germany.
What can a new patient expect during the initial consultation?
In our clinic we give the patient a personalized aesthetic evaluation based on the extensive expertise of our medical team. You will leave knowing that you will have access to the most innovative treatments on the market.
What do you think makes a good patient/doctor relationship?
Be honest with the patient and do not offer false expectations of the results that can be achieved.
Sun damage is a major issue in Spain. How do you treat this?
The best way is to combine several methods: peeling, IPL and don’t forget what a good quality sunscreen can achieve.
Which are your most popular treatments?
The anti-wrinkle botulinum toxin type A, fillers and peels.
How do you stay abreast of the latest in cosmetology and aesthetic treatments?
Being a physician who belongs to the Spanish Society of Aesthetic Medicine means that I am constantly aware of the latest techniques and most innovative and effective treatments; also participating in national and international conferences on the antiaging industry keeps me up to date.
Have you seen an increase in men taking up aesthetic treatments?
Yes! More and more men are seeking botulinum toxin treatment, because they see results in their partners.
What do you see in the future of the aesthetic medicine?
I think the future of aesthetic medicine and anti-aging is moving towards prevention rather than trying to rejuvenate after the deterioration of the skin.
I cannot tell you how much I have been looking forward to trying out the new Ling treatment. Personally, when it comes to facials I like a treatment that incorporates state-of-the-art technology. There is only so much that lotions, potions and massaging can do. So when Sofia Saide, the owner of Pure Skin Beauty, called me to explain the benefits of her latest treatment I practically sprinted down to the salon. This innovative facial and body wellness treatment utilizes the extraordinary properties of Tourmaline, a semi-precious gemstone also referred to as the ‘magic’ tone. Energy Lift combines the infusion of far-infrared rays and Asian health principles, to stimulate the body’s selfhealing and rejuvenation properties for increased wellness of the mind, body and face.
What can you expect?
The treatment begins face down (strange I know, but bear with me.) Sofia used the Energy Lift wellness on my back, spinal area, neck and shoulders to open the meridian channels for proper ‘chi’ energy movement and lymphatic drainage, spending more time on the areas where I hold tension. After 20 minutes of this I was so relaxed that Sofia had to ask me three times to turn around. Wiping the drool off my face, I lay back down and let Sofia get to work on a much needed deep cleansing, steam, thorough extraction and a divine facial massage to get the blood circulation going. Next up was the papaya peel designed to exfoliate dead and unhealthy skin cells, unclog pores and smooth skin texture; this was followed by the Ginseng Collagen Infusion mask. Key ingredients are saturated into a luxurious cotton mask to infuse vital nutrients into the skin for immediate benefits. Formulated with Panax Ginseng to revive and tone, collagen to firm and Hyaluronic Acid to soothe and hydrate, results are immediate.
It was nearly time for the Energy Lifting, but before we could start Sofia applied Apple Stem Cellular Energy, an age-defying youth boosting solution, which is highly effective in diminishing the appearance of wrinkles, fine lines and crow’s feet. This was paired with the DNA DoNotAge Cellular Youth Extension, where Renovage™ (Teprenone) is infused with peptides to create an innovative and potent anti-aging formula to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
Now drum roll please - it was finally time to experience the Holy Grail in facials. The Energy Lift Therapy feels like a warm stone being massaged across your face. It can feel quite hot at certain points but not enough to make you ncomfortable,
quite the opposite in fact. Sofia applied it to my acupressure points before performing one of the most relaxing experiences of my life. She used the Energy Lift in a series of sweeping movements over my skin, which I never wanted to end. A state of bliss would be an understatement. After the treatment had ended I was jabbering away to Sofia for about ten minutes before I actually looked in the mirror.
I couldn’t believe it. My eyebrows had lifted to where they were in my 20s and the new lines on my forehead (I have had a stressful year) had actually disappeared. Sofia laughed at my shocked expression. All I could say was, “How often can I have this done?” Believe me when I say you have to try this for yourself and see the results; you can thank me afterwards.
Now I couldn’t do a red carpet special without mentioning Pure Skin’s other red carpet treatment. Align yourself with the Hollywood A-list and try Intraceuticals oxygen facials. Jessica Biel recently admitted that her glowing skin on Oscars’ night was down to this facial. Perfect for any skin type, you will see instant visible results during this cooling, calming treatment. Your skin will look and feel years younger, visibly lifted, toned and hydrated. I try to book in twice a month as the results are incredible. I only have to put on the minimal amount of makeup the following day and, since I usually coat myself in the stuff, the difference it makes is clearly visible. And voila! With the help of Sofia and her team your skin will be smooth, supple and ready for its close-up. Energy Lift Therapy and Intraceuticals Oxygen treatments are available at:
Pure Skin Beauty
Tel. + 34 951 134 983 at The Wellness
Studio Los Naranjos Golf Club
Self-harming has recently been thrust into the limelight again, after it was revealed that fashion designer and long-term partner of Mick Jagger, L’Wren Scott, had been self-harming in the weeks before she committed suicide. Other famous self-harmers include Hollywood actor Johnny Depp: “My body is a journal in a way. It’s like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself.” The English comedian Russell Brand opened up about self-harming as a teen saying, “I get fixated when I am bleeding. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.”
So what is self-harm?
It is a way of expressing very deep distress. Often people do not know why they do it. It’s a means of communicating what can’t be put into words or even into thoughts and has been described as an inner scream. Many people associate self-harm with cutting. It is actually a much broader term. People may injure or poison themselves by scratching, cutting or burning their skin, hit themselves against objects, pull out their hair, take a drug overdose or swallow/put things inside themselves. It may also take on a less obvious form, including taking unnecessary risks, staying in an abusive relationship, developing an eating disorder or addiction to drugs/alcohol or simply someone not looking after their own emotional or physical needs. These responses may help someone to cope with feelings that overwhelm them; painful emotions, such as rage, sadness, emptiness, grief, self-hatred, fear, loneliness and guilt. These feelings can build up inside, until they become unbearable and the only way to find relief is to self-harm, distracting from the emotional pain by concentrating on a physical one. But, if the underlying emotional issues are not dealt with, each episode may only provide temporary relief. Remember, self-injury is a sign of distress not madness.
Why do people harm themselves?
Self-harm may serve a number of purposes at the same time. You may selfinjure to punish yourself if you feel you have done something wrong or because you feel you have not measured up in some way to your own standards. You may self-injure to tell others how you feel or it may even be a way to communicate to someone close to you about your suffering. It can also happen when you feel disconnected from others or yourself; it may be used to make you feel something. If you have suicidal thoughts or urges, you may self-injure to avoid acting on these.
The truth is everyone can be at risk from self-harming at some point in their life. Popular culture would have you believe that predominantly young girls self-harm, however the majority of my patients who self-harm are actually both male and female adults. Any difficult experience can cause someone to self-harm. Common causes include:
* Pressures at school or work
* Money worries
* Sexual, physical or emotional abuse
* Confusion about sexuality
* Breakdown of relationships
* Difficult feelings, such as depression, anxiety, anger or numbness, experienced as part of a mental health problem.
Self-harm in adolescents
This is quite commonly seen in boarding schools where competitiveness could apply not only to academic work, appearance or popularity but also to self-harm. When working with teens it is important to look at the child’s history to see if he or she is susceptible to further mental illness. For some, it is simply an experimental part of their lives, for others it is something much deeper.
Self-injury is not a life-sentence, and people can and do stop self-injuring. The important thing is to start talking to someone you trust; it could be a friend, family member or an expert. Remember, it takes time for people to learn that their feelings won’t destroy them. The most helpful treatment for people who selfharm is any form of talking therapy.
Cortijo Care Marbella
C/ Joaquin Turina, Cortijo Blanco,
San Pedro de Alcantara, Marbella.
Tel. 952 780 181