Glass Half-full

gratitude noun

The feeling of being grateful and wanting to express your thanks      (Oxford Learner's Dictionaries)

By Ian Greenland

In a year which has seen families separated from each other for months on end, loved ones bereaved without proper goodbyes, businesses destroyed, incomes decimated, bars and shops shuttered, schools and even playgrounds closed, it might feel a little contrived to mumble thanks from behind a cheap face mask. 

“What's there to be grateful for??!” you shout instead, hurling this fine magazine in frustration, fortunately hitting no-one since people don't stand close to each other any more and you're crap at throwing. Drawn back by the beautiful/famous person on the glossy cover and the brilliant, occasionally expletive-ridden, but insightful journalism within, you clench your teeth, pick it up and continue reading..... and you're FUCKING glad you do!!

Psychologists argue gratitude is a socially driven emotion, entangled in perceptions of what we do for others and what they do for us. The first recorded expression of gratitude was a crude cave painting of a smiley face, etched by Og after his cave-mate Bub shared his deer carcass at dinner. The second expression of gratitude (simultaneously the invention of the word “Phew”) came just minutes later as Bub used Og as a human shield whilst escaping an attacking mountain lion. (Incidentally, Og's cave paintings, though largely unappreciated during his short, turbulent lifetime, became much more valuable after a large, wild cat bit his head off...)

Today we remind our kids to say please and thank you (over and over again when they're still small and cute and then less frequently but far more sarcastically when they're angsty and spotty and demanding to borrow the car). We understand that expressions of thanks and appreciation help to build and sustain the social bonds which positively underpin our friendships, work dynamics and long-term relationships, but despite playing a significant role in most philosophies, cultures and organised religions, as a subject of neuropsychological research, the concept of gratitude has only been more deeply explored in the last couple of decades. 

As opposed to the rote, unconscious result of conditioning or a symptom of the burgeoning sport of virtue signalling, we're now being encouraged to treat gratitude, like so much else today, with a more mindful approach if we're to both reap, and sow the benefits. Scientific studies evidence that adopting conscious gratitude into our everyday lives has huge benefits on our mental and even physical wellbeing. Whether through a kind word, act or gesture, the giving and receiving of good will and thankfulness release dopamine, the brain's feel-good neurotransmitter. You may also receive an endorphin hit, capable of reducing pain and inducing euphoria. That fuzzy feeling you get when you do something good is not just imagined, it's chemical. For research participants of studies into gratitude, a marked reduction in the hormone cortisol meant lower stress levels, better cardiac function and improved resilience to negative experiences and stressors. By curbing our stress hormones and better regulating our autonomic nervous system functions, results demonstrate gratitude appreciably combats anxiety and depression, allowing us to gain broader perception and awareness of our present circumstances and better tackle life's obstacles.

As sufferers of depression will tell you, get-up-and-go can be a problem, but gratitude has been positively linked to vitality, energy and motivation. This improved mood increases productivity and the effect can be contagious - did you work harder for the surly, uninterested, perpetually negative boss or the friendly, positive boss who recognised and validated your efforts?... What? The first one??.... “it was easier to get away with doing nothing” ???... Ok, you're a blagger. You probably didn't even pay for this magazine!
Regardless, an outlook underpinned by gratitude will benefit not just you personally, but those in your orbit. Couple studies observed those partnerships where individuals frequently expressed their gratitude to each other were the ones most likely to maintain, fostering mutual trust and loyalty. The life expectancy of those in happy partnerships is also longer than that of singletons. The message is clear: give genuine thanks when your loved one takes the bins out and you'll live to be 100.

And by activating your brain's hypothalamus through the giving and receiving of simple acts of kindness, you'll also promote deeper, healthier sleep. Healthy sleep is another vital cornerstone of healthy mind and body longevity. 

Experts agree writing letters of gratitude, keeping a gratitude journal or regularly vocalising our gratitude in a mindful manner builds positive results over time. If gratitude doesn't spring forth immediately, don't panic, especially given the widespread strain of the pandemic in an already strained modern world. There's probably tons you're grateful for without consciously recognising it and there's nothing wrong with starting small. You're glad the sun's out. You're happy there's enough milk in the fridge at breakfast. You're happy you've got a fridge... in a house...
And if you don't have these things, that doesn't mean you can't be grateful or fulfilled by what you do have.
“It’s not happiness that brings us gratitude. It’s gratitude that brings us happiness” (Anonymous)

Like any muscle, gratitude is something we can exercise, noticing our emotional awareness increase as we do. Each morning, ruminate on and record three things (events, people, objects, acts..) which you're thankful for and you may find in time that that mindfulness carries over into the rest of your day. During low moments, looking back at the people and things you're grateful for can be very grounding and therapeutic. And don't forget to be grateful for yourself. Self-love (stop sniggering!) is arguably as important as empathy for others. Though the thought may initially induce eye-rolling, experts advise standing in front of the mirror, recognising your qualities and complimenting yourself aloud with words such as beautiful, kind, loving (Just don't get caught doing it by your mates or there'll be some other words thrown around).    

And if the exercise descends into an “Are you talking to me? Are YOU talking to ME??!” Taxi Driver impersonation, just go with that too.

Thanks for reading.